There are moments in my life that i question - ones that make me laugh and cry - as to what is going to be remembered and what i'll eventually forget.

Are you one to be remembered?

it seems as though complex questions have been haunting me as of late. is it the end to what i thought i knew and the beginning of what i should know?

all that's left are the lovers, the dreamers and me.
Thanks Kermit.

Ten thousand flowers in spring
the moon in autumn,
a cool breeze in summer,
snow in winter.
If your mind isn't clouded by unnecessary things,
this is the best season of your life.
- Wu-men

so i'm sitting in my first class of my last (full) semester of college (which might be the coolest and most interesting class that i will ever take in my 4+ years here - the evolution of humans) and the professor blatantly asks "how do you define who you are?" quite an intense question to start the day.

so i sit. and i think.

and i come up with very little which makes me kind of sad. yes i'm a woman, european-mut, college kid, milwaukeean (?) but what are the events that are suppose to define who you are? are they the small triumphs and tragedies that you experience or are they those life changing events that are very rare?

don't get me wrong - i know who i am and what i'm about but the world is so vast and i am such a small part of it. *NOTE* this in no way is meant to be a sappy or "emo" post - it's way more of a "fist to the chin" entry.

so i'm left thinking and ultimately hating my new professor for asking me such a mind-blowing question.

have you ever sat back and looked at your life and said "what the fuck is going on here?"
i think that's about where i'm at right now.
it's hard to believe i'm graduating and going to be an auntie.
it's honestly freaking the shit out of me.
i wonder what's next.
i'm hoping good health, good fortune, and all that other cliche' bull will be included.

... bring it on future...

...drinking a bottle of wine by myself because i can.

holla if you wanna party. and by party i mean come drink wine with me.

this is my last college winter semester. for forever.

will and jimmy are ridiculous. why is there a need to make him feel like a chump? or maybe will is the chump.
that MUST be it.

i watched the darjeeling limited last night and it was a good flick. not as good as the royal tenenbaums, but good.

i'm both excited and pissed that i work at 3:30am on black friday. i want to shop when i get out but i'm afraid my entire body will be made up of caffeine from energy drinks and starbucks throughout the morning.

me and the roomies are looking to move to a new house. don't get me wrong, i'll miss our house but i won't miss the douche bag landlord. SEK house part duex here we come.

where do i sign up to fall into a lot of money? if anyone finds that money tree let me know.

ok so - updates in my life:
- i'm laughing a lot at the idea of live journal. i totally forgot about you!
- i am peeling because i just got back from jamaica for my brother's wedding. yikes!
- i'm freaking out because i will be graduating this coming spring. LOOK OUT WORLD.
- i'm excited for what is to come in the states now - GO OBAMA!
- i can't wait to see snow. it's always been my fav. time of year - it makes me happy.

Other things:
- still at old navy (kill me now)
- saving up for europe
- saving up for aveda school
- looking forward to being an auntie in april!
- continuously freaking out because i'll be graduated with a degree.
- excited to think that i might actually get a REAL summer for once.

hey live journal - remember when i posted shit on you everyday?

... yeah i don't either

i almost forgot how to use lj. it's been too long.
too many good/bad/awkward situations to discuss in detail.
let's just cut it down to these select words:
"we've got to get out on the summer days to fight -
the loneliness and the fear on the streets are so amazing -
they never stay the same around here"

i need my escape.

"I've been thinking with my guts since I was fourteen years old and, frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains."

i don't think i have any motivation to deal with it.
so i've decided not to.

oh wow. someone come shoot me please. this is the easiest surgery i've had (thus far) and it's being accompanied by the worst recovery ever.
i hate the fact that i can't eat bread. or anything solid for that matter.
you never realize how much you appreciate taste and texture until you are only eating ice cream.
don't get me wrong - i love me some ice cream - but i'm about sick of effin ice cream.

thank you to everyone that called & stopped by - it means A LOT even though i wasn't able to express much.

i will return to the scene again - OH YES - and hopefully soon - to party and anticipate summer with the best of yous.

oh wow. someone come shoot me please. this is the easiest surgery i've had (thus far) and it's being accompanied by the worst recovery ever.
i hate the fact that i can't eat bread. or anything solid for that matter.
you never realize how much you appreciate taste and texture until you are only eating ice cream.
don't get me wrong - i love me some ice cream - but i'm about sick of effin ice cream.

thank you to everyone that called & stopped by - it means A LOT even though i wasn't able to express much.

i will return to the scene again - OH YES - and hopefully soon - to party and anticipate summer with the best of yous.

so currently -
i AM lovin the life! lovin the people in it, the people around it and everything it has for me to come.
excited for who i'm yet to meet, and what fun story we'll have etched in our memories next.

now don't get me wrong - i don't want my tonsillectomy next week and i HATE thinking about my 2nd year of college being done with. i seriously freak when i remember that i am going to have to jump into a major soon - like during summer - because i am behind. i've got the stylish 5 year plan. you know you want it.

but lately - COME ON SUMMER!
those frickin teaser spring days just aren't good enough.
i want to lay out in the sun or be out all day and get a burn.
to throw on a skirt, flip flops and a tank and be good to go.

for now though, i'm taking each day as it comes - and wondering what the next will bring.

and so it is
just like you said it would be
life goes easy on me
most of the time

since school hasn't been that hard and work has gotten easier, i've had a lot of time to consider things i haven't considered in a while.
maybe when i start bar tending, i'll save all my money and go to that make up artistry school in london for 9 weeks. how insane would that be? it's at least a $30,000 dream. ok.. maybe when i retire. but it's an amazing idea.
i would miss this place a little too much.
on a more realistic note - i would like to take a road trip this summer. an ACTUAL road trip. one that ACTUALLY happens.

it's me and you determination - let's make it happen.

yeah well, ya know.